It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
