2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Don't make out with my wife yet
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
