too bad you live with your parents still
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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