you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Randomize