She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
