soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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