im drinking this country out of the recession.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
