I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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