I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Please don't give away my fajitas
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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