I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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