I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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