Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
