Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Im part way to drunk.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
