I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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