did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Sponge bath it is.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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