Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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