Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize