She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think my mom watched the whole time
love makes seman taste better
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
