Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize