so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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