My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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