yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
