So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
