You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
