quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wish my penis had a tongue
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
