I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
