He uses pillows to masturbate.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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