fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
