DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
