I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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