i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
