My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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