No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
