batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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