my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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