My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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