I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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