Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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