it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
