btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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