But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
