...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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