i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My feet surprised me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
