I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
