Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
