i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
either way he was missing a nipple.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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