Where did you get a picture of my penis
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
