UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize
