I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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