PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
