whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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