i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You're so nebulous sometimes
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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