new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
