Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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