Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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