So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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