I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
