Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
