I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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