Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
