she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
