Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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