I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
