I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
