Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I think i got beer on your cat.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
