i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If that was your dad, he is hot
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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