Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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