Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize