Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I love having hate sex.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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