Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize