Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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