I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
