ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
