i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
this beer tastes like vomit already
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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