now i know why i became what i already was.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize