she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
